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Wrong Relationship Creates Illness -- For Life!

Source:  Private Message

Karl Note:  It would be the nature of this type of message that the writer does not want her name shown, as this lady asked, and that, further, some of the data be changed to preserve her anonymity.  I  very much respect her wish, and thank her, also, very much for being willing for me to share the main thrust of her story with you.  I am using "Sally" as her name for this page.  That is not her real name.

-----Original Message-----
From: Sent: Wednesday, October 02, 2002 8:05 AM
To: karl@karlloren.com
Subject: Illness & Relationships

 

Hi Karl,

I've spent the morning traveling around your website.  Thank you so much for your candid approach and integrity.  So much of what you've said is part of my previous belief system.  You've added so much more that I wasn't aware of and explained many of my doubts. 
 

In particular, I'd like to speak with you about illness and relationships. 

I'm living proof of exactly what you're saying. 

I was born in 19xx and as a child, I was hospitalized with vague illnesses that were never determined.  My symptoms mimicked rheumatic fever although that was ruled out.  I had massively high antibodies that were unexplained. 

My mother was fixated on my bed-wetting so cystoscopic exams were routinely ordered.  Doctors always expected to find large "masses of pus" to explain my high fevers and aching joints.  But that never happened. 

[Karl Note:  The image on the left is ONE type of gadget used for cystoscopic exams  Can you imagine how the insertion on a regular basis of such a tube into a woman's vagina would be upsetting -- a very young woman?

Now add to this that the use of this tube followed mother's yelling and anger, and a doctor, who should know better, who is peering at this frightened little girl's private parts!)

After I got away from my family, my health improved.  

I moved near my mother again in 1991 and my health has steadily gone down hill. 

I have CFIDS and am depressed, anxious and obese.  (CFIDS is "chronic fatigue immune deficiency syndrome" and I have written a very full article on this HERE.)

I am going to have blood drawn later this week to find out about nanobacteria to explain my latest infection. 

I just completed a session of energy work (which drained a pilonidial cyst) which was wonderful but I can't afford $300 a month forever that's not covered by our health insurance. 

I have a wonderful holistic M.D. who told me early on that if I could heal my family relationship, I could heal my body.  I know she's right. 

However, I've finally stopped trying to have a relationship with my mother.  I can no longer try to appeal to her only to be thrown out of her house because I refuse to be her victim and then be the subject of her lies to elicit sympathy. 

We are now at a total impasse.  I have tried everything I know but the only relationship I can have with her is one where I continue to be her scapegoat. 

I'm tired and sick and sick and tired.  She is dishonest and uses me to elicit sympathy from her other two kids who don't live locally. 

They, of course, "hate" that I'm "mistreating" this elderly woman with the healthy check book who is generous to them for keeping her secrets. 

I no longer have anything to do with any of my family. 

My father died in 1988 of pancreatic cancer so my mother now has full rein to her lies and manipulations. 

(Karl Note:  There is no doubt, within my philosophy on "wrong relationships" that the mother was the primary cause of this girl's father's cancer -- so deadly are these wrong relationships.)

Without this sick relationship, my health should improve however I can't rid myself of the grief and despair at not having a family.  Of course, I realize this is crazy, which brings me to my reason for writing to you.

How do I change my thinking and feel okay about where I'm at? 

I can't change my family but I can change myself but I don't know how. 

I suppose that what you need to know to help me is that I was severely punished every morning for wetting the bed.  While my mother rubbed my wet panties in my face she would tell me that no one could ever love me and no one would ever marry me.  Many men wanted to marry me but I was sick at the idea that anyone might find out how "unlovable" I truly was. 

Seven years ago, I married a man who has two children from a previous marriage.  His entire family is deceased except for his kids who don't live locally.  It's too late for me to have a family.  And my anxiety is preventing me from making other friends. 

I want to have friends and enjoy life but don't want to be around people. 

I want to move out of this area but my husband is tied to his job.  I have tremendous resentment for my mother who fed me this legacy that prevented me from having my own family and now tells lies that prevent me having a relationship with my birth family. 

I feel as though I'm trapped in a lonely existence with my husband who is a good person but pretty much emotionally unavailable.  Where do I go for help?

Please forgive this personal outpouring of emotion.  I feel at my wit's end and am filled with hope that your sound wisdom can adequately advise me. 

Thank you so very much for your honesty and excellent work.  

Sally

P.S.  I'd greatly appreciate you not airing my letter on your website without substantially changing it and my name so I can remain anonymous. 

Thanks. 

Dear Sally,

Wow!

A fascinating story.

I can help you.

First, I want to ask about CFIDS -- the most usual "remedy" for that condition is the prescription of anti-depressants.

Can you tell me which ones, if any, you have taken, or are now taking?

Answer and I'll respond.

Cordially,

Karl Loren

Dear Sally,

Thanks!

Good news on the absence of anti-depressants.

It is one thing to offer these free books. They can be used to spot wrong relationships.

But it yet another thing to do what I am doing.  I am trying to be a "morals counselor" to those who visit that web site, and my "morals counseling" is another experiment.

There is no question that I could remedy the upset you still feel with your mother.  That is a certainty.  But, the question is whether I can do this by eMail or not. So, you are an experiment.

It sounds like your doctor may be OK, but she certainly doesn't know how to solve CFIDS.

So, I ask you to do three things.

1.  You may have already done this? Read my article about fibromyalgia.  The situation is hardly different from CFIDS.  It is located at:  http://www.chelationtherapyonline.com/anatomy/p1.htm

2.  Next, visit www.happinessonline.org .  Read and comment.  Ask for the free books if you wish.  One of the experiments I'm trying with this site is to give people a clue as to what a "wrong relationship" might be.  You can read there and see what your mother was doing -- something that violates some moral code.  I have not yet covered all the codes, and maybe I need to add more.  Your page might well be the section entitled "child abuse."  Visit, let me know what you think.

3.  As you read that article on fibromyalgia, you saw the remedies I suggest.  Diet is a big one for you.  I know with some certainty that your diet is not good -- else you would not be sick and fat.  I am also experimenting with how to get people to not run away from my diet suggestions.  So, after reading the above, read at:

  http://www.karlloren.com/Diabetes/raw-food-diet.htm

Let me know.

I do have some pages on nanobacteria.  Here: 

Nanobacteria -- The New Thing In Heart Disease
... Nanobacteria -- The New Thing In Heart Disease. Source NanobacLabs, top. What
are Nanobacteria? ... Nanobacteria are far smaller than any known bacteria. ...
www.chelationtherapyonline.com/articles/p54.htm - Similar pages

Nanobacteria? Real Or Figments Of Fragments?
... Nanobacteria? Real Or Figments Of Fragments? Source. Monday, March 22, 1999
Published at 14:05 GMT Sci/Tech Do nanobacteria rule Earth and Mars? ...
www.chelationtherapyonline.com/articles/p80.htm - 46k - Cached - Similar pages

Part Of The Mysterious History and Origin Of Nanobacteria
... Part Of The Mysterious History and Origin Of Nanobacteria. Source Michael ... Park.
Today nanobacteria are either growing on them or not. ...
www.chelationtherapyonline.com/articles/p81.htm - 70k - Cached - Similar pages

Section of Articles On Chelation Therapy
... Nanobacteria -- The New Thing In Heart Disease. Nanobacteria? Real Or
Figments Of Fragments? Part Of The Mysterious History and Origin ...
www.chelationtherapyonline.com/ articles/indexsuppository.htm - 42k - Cached - Similar pages

Table Of Contents for the "Articles" Section of this web site
This is the DESCRIPTION home page for the organization that has the leading planetary technology for removal of metals from the body
www.chelationtherapyonline.com/articles/toc.htm - 61k - 1 Oct 2002 - Cached - Similar pages

EDTA Suppositories -- Another Validation Of Oral EDTA
... but all the descriptions of their use seem to make reference, also, to an antibiotic
called tetracycline, used, it is claimed, to kill "nanobacteria" that have ...
www.chelationtherapyonline.com/articles/p20.htm - 101k - Cached - Similar pages

Check out these.

I could comment on what you are doing, but not just yet.  I've given you a great deal to study.

See how it goes.

Cordially,

Karl Loren

----- Original Message -----

Dear Sally,

I am located in Burbank, CA.

I have one biography at:  http://www.happinessonline.org/KarlLoren/p1.htm  More in other places.

As you'll see there, I'm 71, have a wonderful wife, six children, and about 20 grandchildren.  You made a remark about your doctor being Harvard?  You must have read that I have a Harvard MBA.

So having read amongst the pages on the Happiness On Line site, one of their uses is for you to be able to spot the exact behavior, around you, that violates one or more of the moral precepts.

The idea is that once you agree with someone, as in a marriage, or as in what society expects, when either breaks that agreement there is turmoil.  The turmoil can and usually does affect the health.  It is easier to spot the breaking of an agreement by another, so that's where I start.

It is good enough, as a start, to realize that it is your mother who is a problem.  It will help more if you can spot exactly what she does that is in violation of some moral code -- hence the web site has that use.

Generally all of these broken agreements can often be distilled down to two.  I'll write it as personal about your mother.

1.  She invalidates you.  She tells you that you will never marry, or that you are dumb, or whatever she says.  It is an attack on YOU, as a being.  This does not include that she might say, "Your shoes are dirty."  That is not an invalidation of you, as a being.  These invalidative remarks are deadly, and unfortunately common.

2.  She evaluates for you.  She tells you what to think about yourself, or situations.

There are other characteristics of someone who is breaking a moral code, but the above two are often at the core of all others.

My sense is that either you are very quick, or you were reading for some while?  In any event, I am even more hopeful that I can figure out a way to help you by eMail.

I would next suggest that you may pursue the nanobacteria remedy, but I believe your much bigger problems, and more basic, or in two areas.

1.  You may have toxins locked up in your fatty tissues.  Street drugs?  Medical drugs?  These are oil soluble and never leave your body without the detox method I recommend.

2.  You probably have a rather poor diet?  Before I tell you what I advise, I ask you to describe your usual diet.

As you might guess, I don't sell anything connected with either of the above.

You are welcome to bring your doctor into this at any time -- as long as you feel she is NOT violating any of those moral codes.  Usually she would have been recommending psychiatric drugs, or referral.  If she did not? That is a large plus point for her.

I await your next message.

And, there is no need for only men to change the world.  You can and should and will.

Regards,

Karl Loren

October 2, 2002
Dear Sally,

Well, you certainly give me a lot to chew on.

I understand that you have "spotted" your mother -- sounds like a given.  You can yet help yourself by spotting some specifics of what behavior of hers has invalidated you and evaluated for you.

But, it sounds like you are ready to approach new vistas.

You mentioned early on that you found your husband was "pretty much emotionally unavailable."

Also, I now learn he is a diabetic.

The drugs you have taken?  Those are easily handled, when the time comes, although it will take a leap of hope and faith, with some money for the cost of the detox program I recommend.  It is offered in 100's of cities, by the way.

The diet you have been on, and are on?  These will probably be handled with more difficulty -- in part because one person never eats by herself, but in a social setting with another, or more.

I'll get to my own diet in due course, but it is fairly easy for me to pursue my diet when my wife is away.  She is currently away for several weeks.  We have a loving marriage, and she doesn't disagree with my diet.  But, she doesn't share it, so I feel some sort of compulsion to eat what she eats -- and go off my own diet.

She left just a day ago and my diet is rather pure just now.

So, there are these areas that need to be addressed:

1.  The bringing together you and your husband.  It is not to be expected that he would have my skills at what I am doing, but it would be best if he shared fully in what has transpired between you and me.  Is that possible?

2.  The diet change.  It isn't that it would cost you anything, and the foods would be basic and good. But, the social pressures and the "desire for food sensation" are strong obstacles that would need to be handled.

3.  At some point you will need to get the toxins out of your body --- perhaps your husband too?  This is one of the easiest parts of all this, but it takes some money to do.

4.  Finally, there are a variety of mental exercises I can have you do that will help you become happier, no matter what else happens.

Penta Water?  A fad, nothing more.

Nanobacteria?  Another fad, not basic for you.

I don't think there is any great improvement ahead for you in any type of pill, nutrient or medical treatment.

Let me put my attention, first, on the relationship between you and your husband.

What would it take for you to have him review all our correspondence and generally support what is going on, even to become a part of it.    No secrets???

Regards,

Karl Loren

This series of messages is continued on a restricted web site

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